Friday, October 21, 2016

Toilet Paper Up or Toilet Paper Down?

Response to “When the Ship Hits the Fan” was so good I decided to continue with this theme and delve into toilet paper. Back in the day, before the invention of TP, people looked forward to receiving the gigantic Sears catalog, which was printed on very soft paper. However, time marched on and thankfully toilet paper itself was invented by Joseph Gayetty around 1857 and the roll of toilet paper was patented by Seth Wheeler in 1891. And, ever since, people have been debating the pros and cons of how to install it in the dispenser. Should it hang down in the back or hang down in the front.
     Although, it may not matter which way you install your TP, it does matter how you install your cabinetry, whether it be in the kitchen, bathroom or family room. I couldn’t possibly include all the instructions on how to do this properly in my column so here are a few web sites that will guide you through the proper procedure. If you’re reading this article on your computer or i-thing, just click on one of the links below. If you’re reading it in the newspaper, tap on them to your heart’s content. (Good luck).


     After viewing these instructional videos it should now be apparent that there is a right and wrong way to do everything, and that extends to the toilet paper conundrum as well. But who is to decide which way is correct? Is there really a better way?
     Probably your best bet is to hire a contractor to install both your cabinets and your toilet paper, so you know that it’s been done right. Unless you’re affluent enough to have them install one of those $4,000 toilet bowls that eliminate the need for toilet paper. (Factoid: if you have the store that you buy the cabinets from install them, you don’t have to pay sales tax! Which leaves more money for TP.)
     Don’t look to me for an answer to the TP issue. I like it hanging in the back; Liz likes it hanging in the front. I guess it’s like a chicken and egg thing. We’ll never now which is better or which came first. What I do know is it sort of reminds me of the upcoming elections and the candidates we have to choose between. Will it really make a difference which way we go, after all, were just dealing with toilet paper.

NOTE: Hold the presses. Disregard this whole article. When Doug proofread the copy for accuracy he found the original patent for toilet paper at (tap away here) which clearly illustrates the proper procedure.